Lightsabers For Sale
by Freyla
Summary: To earn money after the war against the Empire, Luke Skywalker becomes a salesman for Lightsabers Inc. However, his territory has declared a “no weapons” policy. Luke must figure out how to sell his lightsabers…without giving away their status as weapons.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters._

Luke Skywalker had to admit, he was very impressed with the cleanliness and efficiency of the planet Flobo. The streets he drove over were free of litter, and the Flobobians themselves were all very tidy and well dressed. He parked his speeder by a meter at the end of the street and gathered together his materials.

The sign was right there, and he could not avoid seeing it as he exited the vehicle. "No Weapons Allowed." Luke grumbled under his breath. His supervisor who assigned him to this planet had turned out to be none other than Rabba the Hutt, the merciless big brother of Jabba the Hutt. Had Luke known who he was, he would have asked to be transferred to a different planet. But Rabba already recognized the young Jedi and gave him the worthless assignment before he knew what was happening, and Luke could not get out of it. Well, there was no help for it. He would have to do the best he could with what he had.

Luke's first house on the block was an old-fashioned dwelling in the Old Republic architectural style. He rang the doorbell, and a very flustered Flobobian woman answered it. She wore an apron, her hair was piled messily atop her head, and two small Flobobettes wriggled in her arms.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"Hello ma'am. My name is Luke Skywalker, and this is your lucky day. I'm going door to door and giving folks like you a once in a lifetime chance to acquire a marvel of a product. What is it, you say? It's a lightsaber."

The woman stared at him blankly. "Well, what does it do?"

"Would you be so kind as to give me a few moments of your time? I will demonstrate for you in your own home, how this amazing product can change your life forever. Could I come in, please?"

"Okay, yeah. Come in," She indifferently put down the little Flobobettes and ignored them as they ran screaming in circles around the room. Luke stepped inside, careful to avoid tripping on a Flobo doll and some scattered Flobocrayons. "So what exactly does this thing do?"

"Uh, well ma'am, it—it has many uses, to be exact. It's very helpful around the house." Luke looked around nervously, hoping his Jedi instinct would somehow serve him in this instance. One of the little Flobobettes then picked up a ray gun and shot Luke in the leg. He cried out in surprise as his leg began to go numb.

The Flobobette woman only signed and said, "No, no Flobie. Bad boy. Mommy told you not to do that anymore." The little Flobobette only laughed, and Luke glared menacingly at him and he rubbed his leg to try and restore the feeling.

Then Luke had an idea. "Step right over here ma'am, and I'll give you a free demonstration. I noticed your two Flobobettes have no place of temporary confinement during the day, while your valuable time is needed to focus on other chores around the house."

"We have a play-pen," said the woman, "but they only climb right out of it, so we don't use it."

"Ah ha," said Luke. "That was before. But with the new and improved lightsaber railing, your Flobobettes will remain safe and happy in their play-pen while you are free to do other housework." Luke then proceeded to unscrew all the railings from the play-pen while the mother watched curiously. He installed sixteen lightsabers in their places and then ignited them.

"They're so bright," said the mother.

"Glad you brought that up, because they also double as night lights. Now, put your little Flobobettes in here, and I guarantee they won't escape." The mother gathered her two little ones and put them into the play-pen. The little Flobobette who had shot Luke with the ray gun was the first to try and climb out, and he grabbed hold of the lightsaber railings with both hands.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" cried the Flobobette as his hands sizzled and sparks flew. The other then tried the same thing, with similar results. No matter how many times they tried, they could not get out. The mother was overjoyed.

"Sir, I'll take them all."

Luke gave his best smile. "Very good, sign here then, Ma'am." It was a success. He had made his first sale of the day.


	2. Chapter 2

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Luke muttered to himself as his gaze settled on the next house. It appeared abandoned, and were it not for a few puffs of smoke coming from the chimney, he would have thought it so. There was a good chance that there were no little Flobobettes at this residence, so he would, unfortunately, not be able to repeat his success he had had with the 'lightsaber cage.' This house looked so unlike all the other Flobian houses. It was dark and dismal.

"Remember Luke, let the force be your guide," he told himself. Well, there was no time like the present. He knocked on the door and a young man answered. He had wild, uncombed black hair, wore wrinkled space clothes that looked like they had been slept in for several nights, and he was smoking a death stick. He took a long puff and exhaled. His eyes were flat and uninterested, and stared at Luke.

"You can't help me," he moaned darkly. "No one can."

Luke was unsure how to respond to this. He finally decided to ignore it and carry about his business as usual. "Hello, my name is Luke Skywalker and I'm going door to door giving people like yourself the opportunity to experience…"

"I don't have any money," he said.

"Well, that's not a problem," said Luke cheerfully. "My company does extend credit to those in need, because they don't want anyone to miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime deal."

"What is it?"

"I'll show you, may I come in for a moment?"

"Whatever," said the young man. He flung himself lifelessly on the couch. He mechanically offered Luke a deathstick, but the Jedi politely refused.

"You don't want to give me a deathstick," said Luke hypnotically, with a wave of his hand.

The young Flobian man looked thoughtful for a moment. "You're right," he said. "I'm broke and this is my last pack."

Luke sighed and opened his case. He pulled out the latest model in lightsabers. He ignited it and was pointing out its beauty and design, when the young Flobian suddenly perked up.

"Wow," he said as he gazed upon it in wonder. "What a weapon."

Luke froze, somehow not quite expecting this. Quickly he cleared his throat. "Oh, oh no. This—this isn't a weapon."

The young Flobian man looked at him as if he were a fool. "Of course it is, what else would it be."

"Well, it's not a weapon."

"Is too."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"This is not a weapon! It says right here on the tag, 'intentional misuse of this product can have serious consequences. Keep out of reach of children. For use in battle and intergalactic conflicts and…' Ah, this is an outdated tag. I'll try to get this off here…anyway, it is not a weapon."

While Luke fumbled with the product tag, the young Flobian man groaned in utter agony. "Oh, what a cruel universe. Must I be tortured like this every day of my life! I can't take it, I just can't take it anymore. Where're my deathsticks! Where are they?" He nervously grabbed his pack of deathsticks, and Luke wondered at his pitiful and dramatic display. The young man's hands shook as he struggled to light his deathstick, but his lighter seemed to be out of fuel.

Click…click…click…click…click

Nothing doing.

"Oh, cruel world!" shouted the young man. "Come on, you. Light!" Then Luke had an idea.

"Allow me," said Luke, and with his lightsaber he lit the young man's deathstick.

"Ah," the young Flobian finally relaxed again, and he curiously eyed the lightsaber. "So this is a lighter?" he asked.

"You are correct," said Luke proudly. "The deluxe model lightsaber lighter. It doesn't need fuel, so it lights for life." _Lights for life…that's good, I'll have to write that down, _Luke thought.

"I'll take it," he said.

"Very good," said Luke. "Here is a credit application for you to fill out."

Inwardly Luke beamed. Another sale for the day.


End file.
